So class yesterday was interesting. We talked about existentialism which I find to be something that I don't think a lot of people connect with but I feel like it's something that is pretty simple but a powerful thought. The existentialists make you think about if life is all about control over your choices or if life was about circumstances. I think to a certain extent that you are dealt a hand in life, or your circumstances, and you could be limited by it. I understand there are studies that show based on where you are born, economic status and opportunity, there are only a limited number of options. Of course there are exceptions. However there's another part of you that is choice. It's what drives you to be better. The feel of complete control over what happens. I don't think everyone is away of how freeing and in a way overwhelming choice is. I think people like to blame circumstance when choice is the real reason.

It's also interesting that my ex wants to be back in my life. He finally apologized last night via a message on facebook. He said he was wrong and no one should treat me poorly. He wanted to go out again. I said that I was only comfortable maybe talking via e-mails but I needed some time. I said I hope that he finds happiness in being able to get settled down again. I'm not sure what's going to happen but is it possible for people to change? I have always felt the answer was yes that people could always realize their potential and then choose to change to be better and happier in life. Then I now feel like people don't always the ability to change. I guess I have a hard time accepting people for who they are. I feel like minor bad things and hardships are so easy to overcome with choice. I'm not so sure people can always see how easy it is and I'd like to find out how to make it easier for people to see. Something to work on.

I did get most of the kitchen cleaned and took out all the trash and recycling. I had be more lax on that then necessary since my break up and I wonder if it's because once things get really cleaned by me for the first time then it's truly feeling like it's over. While I feel like it's more symbolic than it probably is I have to say it's nice to have a clean kitchen again. It's relaxing just to see.